Aussie author takes the piss out of The Bible

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It is the world’s best-selling book of all-time and yet no two cultures will agree wholeheartedly with its messages. It preaches about the importance of honesty and truth and yet hypocrisy abounds within its so-called sacred pages. It commands its readers to never defy its ‘holy’ word and yet, like Chinese whispers, much of its scripture is the result of miscommunication and distortion throughout the ages. Indeed, The Bible has a lot to answer for.

Taking the ‘Good Book’ and turning it on its head, Australian author Edward Falzon’s humorous read ‘Being Gay Is Disgusting or God Likes The Smell Of Burning Fat’ is quite possibly the most modern and inappropriate translation of The Bible that exists, adopting absurd political incorrectness (note the first half of the book’s title alone) to hammer home the point that the globally-respected tome is indeed replete with its own faulty policies.

The prose is kept simple: a kind of ABC summary of the first five chapters ‘Genesis’ to ‘Deuteronomy’, albeit flooded with innuendo, irony and sarcasm on subjects such as sex, infidelity, incest, misogyny, homophobia, and so on. Take the last paragraph of ‘Numbers’ as an example:

“God had an ingenious plan. ‘Easy! I hereby instruct all women who have inherited land to marry only within their tribe. That way, land stays within the right tribe.’ And [so] the in-breeding began. The five sisters each married a cousin on their father’s side.”

Sure, staunch conservatives will be shocked at Falzon’s frank critique and flip representations of such biblical scenarios, but at the very least it should give them something to debate about in Bible Studies. This scribe’s suggestion is to not take any of either text too seriously: enjoy the ‘original’ with a pinch of salt, and appreciate Falzon’s contemporary take with a touch of pepper, relishing the full dish of propaganda with a side of pretention.

‘Being Gay Is Disgusting or God Likes The Smell Of Burning Fat’ is published through Daijin and available through major book sellers.