Forget the teddy bear’s picnic; get ready for the teddy bear piss-up…

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The boys-gone-wild genre has proven immensely popular over the past couple of years, revived in with The Hangover, continuing on through to Project X and A Few Best Men, and ever-present (still) in the American Pie franchise (including its latest offering American Reunion). But the stuffed-toys-gone-wild genre is something altogether new. Enter Ted, the story of a teddy bear so cherished by its childhood owner, he comes to life through the whim of an innocent kid’s wish. Problem is, when the bear comes to life, he also takes on the most despicable of characteristics that even the most misogynist of humans don’t possess. In fact he’s a bear that drinks like a fish, smokes like a chimney, roots like a rabbit, and swears like a sailor. And just in the first few scenes.

Mark Wahlberg plays the bear’s owner, John Bennett, who eventually has to choose between keeping his bromance with the bear or moving on and solidifying a relationship with his girlfriend (played by spunky Mila Kunis). What is most surreal about this film is not that the audience is watching a walking/talking teddy bear who throws political correctness out the window (possibly with a few television sets), but that the actors are so convincing in their acceptance of the freak-thing, viewers start to consider the absurdity fairly normal, too.

Indeed what becomes more unbelievable than the toy coming to life is the fact that he gets away with so much disgraceful behaviour. Incredible fantasy is quickly overshadowed by moral subjectivity, with viewers just waiting to see how far the bad bear will go.

Written and directed by Family Guy creator, Seth MacFarlane – who also happens to be the voice behind Ted – this flick has blockbuster stamped all over it. Or, if Ted has his way, gaffa-taped, covered in whipped cream and feathers and left up a flag pole til sunrise… Hilarious stuff.


Ted is screening nationally. Click on the image below to view the official trailer.