Pop singers often adopt different names. It’s no wonder George O’Dowd went under the pseudonym Boy George or Georgios Kyriacos Panayiotou shortened it to George Michael. Robert Matthew Van Winkle and Tracy Marrow called themselves (the far hipper) Vanilla Ice and Ice-T, and you have to admit Dido is much easier to fit on a record sleeve than Florian Cloud de Bounenvialle O’Malley Armstrong.

Yet there’s absolutely nothing wrong with Pip Brown. It’s even slightly understated like her hometown beginnings in Wellington, New Zealand. Although as the title of a performer, ‘Ladyhawke’ does have a special ring to it. Taken from the 1985 film of the same name starring Michelle Pfeiffer and Matthew Broderick, it instantly conjures up imagery of fantasy, illusion and grandeur much like her music.

Since her 2008 self-titled debut set the music scene alight with tracks like My Delirium and Paris Is Burning, fans and critics alike have been waiting in anticipation for a sequel. Anxiety is the exciting follow-up from the stunning blonde who not only sings and plays guitar but performs all the instruments on the album. Interesting fact: Ladyhawke actually played in a band with Nick Littlemore of Pnau and Empire Of The Sun fame.

Interview by Patrick Lewis.

It’s been four years since your first album. Why did Anxiety take so long to come out?

I’d been trying for two years then I just stopped. My last show was in Sydney in 2012. Instead of deciding to chillax after that I went straight into making another album but I was so tired I kept falling asleep on the couch so I had four months off. I got a flat, caught up with my family and then got back into making music. It took so long but I didn’t want to rush it. I took each day as it came.

What was the inspiration behind it? Was it a hard album to make?

My whole motivation was something different. I didn’t want to repeat myself and do something like the first album. I had no desire to do what I did on the first. I wanted to try something more guitar-based, darker but poppy. There were innocent comments from people passing like “You’ll have the [difficult] second album curse”. It really got to me. I was, like, there’s a curse? I didn’t know about it! I got over that because once I got the first two songs under my belt and just got on with it.

What’s your favourite song on the album?

It keeps changing. I’d say Sunday Drive. I love playing that one live. I also really like Girl Like Me. It was the first song I wrote.

Girl Like Me is a great opening track punching through with strong bass lines and self-directed lyrics such as “I saw you dancing with a girl like me”. What is a girl like you?

With that song I pictured a carbon copy of myself. Whenever I write music and lyrics I feel really split – like that character in Fight Club. I’m looking at another person who is me. So I create these circumstances; these characters. It’s different tiers of my personality coming out.

You’re very photogenic but you play down your physical appearance which is always modest and understated. Why?

It’s just how I feel comfortable. I was always inspired by Patti Smith, as far as style goes. When you’re young, you don’t know what clothes to wear. Then one day I thought I’m just going to wear this from now on. I like wearing tight jeans, the tightest jeans and baggy shirts and sometimes a hat.

Out of all your songs what’s the song you’re most requested to play?

Probably My Delirium. It did the best out of all my songs. It’s the one they go nuts over at festivals.

What inspired that song?

My Delirium is about the feeling you have when you’re really tired and you can’t think properly. Like when I’m really tried from a long haul flight and I can’t sleep. I get it from London to New Zealand or Sydney to London. Although when I get to London I suffer from it worse than the other way around.

The clip for My Delirium turns animated, showing you driving a cool car. Then there are lyrics to your current single, Sunday Drive, pushing an automotive theme. What kind of driver are you? How would your lap time go in ‘a star in a reasonably priced car’ segment on Top Gear?
In that video, I wanted it to be the exact same car as the one in Thelma And Louise, a Cadillac. In New Zealand I drive a Chevrolet Blazer. It’s a big, black car. It’s a modern car but its 10 years old. I’m quite an anal driver: a stickler for the road rules. And I’m a terrible passenger. Whenever I’m in a car I tell people off for driving if they’re too fast and I pull up the handbrake as soon as they stop. I’ve never done any racing or anything like that so I don’t think I’d do well very well. I’d probably get the slowest lap tap time. I don’t think I’d beat anyone.

Your lyrics are intimate and revealing. Do they imply an emotional dependency, a vulnerable state of mind, or do you just spend too much time thinking?

Yeah I do, in everyday life. I’m an over-thinker and I feel vulnerable like everybody does. I overplay things in my head. It all sort of comes from your own experience. It’s not like I’m writing down an account of something that happened in my songs. There’s a lot of my own feelings especially of worrying. I hate the idea of being left alone. I feel like I’m going crazy if I’m left alone. So that’s a theme. A lot of people said this album is a lot more revealing and ever since I’ve been doing promo, people have been saying this album is a lot more personal which I never realised. When I finished it, I felt like a huge weight had been lifted. It was a cathartic experience.

You got your name from the film Ladyhawke. If there was a remake, what would you change? Who would you like to see cover the Mouse (played by Matthew Broderick), or Ladyhawke herself?

You have a movie like that when it was made back in the day without crazy computer graphics so a remake would have to have the most expensive cool effects. I could think about this for hours. Stars Wars and Star Trek have the coolest effects and they work but there are some movies with loads of CGI and it doesn’t work – all I’m thinking is how bad the effects are. They spend so much money on CGI and it just looks crap. Who would play the Mouse? That kid in Role Models. He’s young and small. He’d be perfect. Who should play Ladyhawke? It’s pretty hard to top Michelle Pfeiffer. It’s clearly a while since the film first came out but she’s dealt with the ageing thing pretty well.

You were a guest programmer on Rage, where you played Nirvana and Led Zeppelin as well as a couple of rap tracks. What new music are you listening to now?

I don’t listen to much new music but there’s Willy Moon. He’s really new and he’s just got something really exciting about him. He’s got a couple of videos out. He’s got a ’60s type of sound mixed with modern electro. He dresses in a suit and looks really dapper in these trousers he wears. I’ve also been listening to Connan Mockasin, he does this crazy music.

You were in the band Teenager with Nick Littlemore. Can you confirm the rumours that Empire Of The Sun are back together?

Yes, I heard they were writing another album. I haven’t seen either of them because they’ve got so many music projects on and they’re always so busy.  

Did you use the same musicians on this album as the last or did you hire new ones?

I play all the instruments. Guitar, drums, keys, bass. Just like I did on the first one. I was working with Pascal [music producer Pascal Gabriel has worked with Dido, Kylie and Natalie Imbruglia]. I have the same touring band when I play live. They’re a lot hairier now. They’ve all changed appearance and have a lot more facial hair now so people are always thinking I have a new band, but they’re really the same guys. I write the music and they play it live and I expect them to play what I wrote. I’m hiring them!

Anxiety is out May 25 through Modular / Universal Music.

Henry Rollins really is a man of many hats; a jack of all trades: author, musician, radio announcer and DJ, television presenter… But what he is most famous for are his live stand-up performances. Antonino Tati chats to a spoken word icon about his tough guy image, travels to troubled destinations, and his thoughts on censorship.

To many, you kind of represent a pinup for the butch sensitive new-age man. Who do you see when looking out into your audience?
16 to 60 [year-olds]. About 50/50 male/female, primarily white. Past that, they are the audience. I am there to serve them. I don’t look too closely.

To be honest, when I was a kid and first saw you on TV, I thought you were the lead singer of a heavy metal band, what with the biceps, the tatts, the shaved head. Do you find your image still throws people off to this day?
I honestly don’t notice. I don’t take a lot of time to wonder how I am being evaluated by my appearance.
 

It’d be wrong to categorise your style of performance as stand-up. Your subject matter veers more towards serious topics than your average stand-up does. What would you call your delivery style?
For me, it’s never been anything more than a talking show. That’s what I have always called it. If I called it comedy, there would have to be more humour. I don’t know what you’re supposed to call it, so I don’t spend too much time on classifying it.

Do you feel there are some people in your audience who shed tears during your shows, torn between crying with joy at your jokes and with sadness through epiphanies your talk might trigger?
I’ve been told by people post show that is what happened. I have never seen it myself. I guess people run through all kinds of things at the shows. The topics tend to bring a lot of emotions into play.
 

When you are delivering what I would call spoken word, are you tempted to look out into one part of the audience or do you constantly move your attention around the room?
I will usually be drawn to the person texting, the person sleeping, the visibly bored, the person trying to secretly film me. I am drawn to the distraction basically. Past that, I usually look straight ahead.
 

What have you thought of other spoken word artists and storytellers, such as Gil Scot Heron, Michael Franti and Laurie Anderson?
I don’t know enough about them besides Laurie, who is just magic.
 

Do segues come quite naturally for you? Hope you don’t mind my asking but have you ever gotten stuck and stammered in the middle of telling a story?
I have gotten momentarily lost in a story if I am really tired and lose a little traction, but I do a lot of preparation, so I rarely get off track. It happens though. I am not stuck for more than a second. Not being high helps, I am sure.
 

How would you describe your radio DJ-ing style?
Loose, prone to error but heartfelt and enthusiastic.
 

Are you one for censorship on radio? Outside of the obvious swear words that might be censored, do you believe in full freedom of speech via the medium?
I don’t believe in censorship but curse words on the radio wear thin for me. I have satellite radio in the car. Some of these guys let it fly. I wouldn’t dare to stop them but it makes it hard to listen to at times. To me, it’s just lazy speaking.
 

What do you think of that newer democratic medium, the internet? Will there come a time when we’re censored on that, too?
I am sure there will be attempts. I would not be surprised if that came from the left side of the aisle. There is a lot of freedom to be had. I think it all depends on how much governments see things like Wikileaks as a true security threat and what they see as a way to minimise that problem. Past that, there’s a lot of money to be made, so people will try to regulate it if they can make a buck.
 

Tell me a bit about the television show you host on National Geographic, Animal Underworld – is it a risky, dangerous job at times?
Slightly dangerous. If you go the wrong way with a venomous snake, that could be bad for you, but for the most part, no, not all that dangerous. I wish it was a bit more risky. Keeps the blood thin.
 

Travel is a big thing with you. What/where are three of the world’s best kept natural secrets?
Good question. I don’t know. Most of the places I have been where there are not many people are pretty harsh and it’s not a wonder as to why they are not often travelled. I have always liked Southeast Asia but that’s a very well travelled bit of territory. Parts of Africa are very nice and not all that tourist-infested. Kenya has some nice parts that make you feel like you are somewhere really different.
 

You’ve travelled to some troubled destinations – Siberia, Burma, Bangladesh – how do you continue doing so without getting too depressed about some of the sad living conditions in these places?
I wouldn’t be all that effective if it becomes all too much. You have to see past the bad parts to stay clear. I do see some sad situations and I do get to leave them and not get any on me. I don’t feel guilt or that I am lucky, just from a different situation. I try to see it for what it is. I am not trying to be brutal or callous, just clear-sighted. In many cases, the only person feeling bad in an impoverished environment is me; everyone else is just getting on with things.
 

What can the everyday man do to help? Are there any particular charities you know of that really do help out?
Doctors Without Borders, Drop In The Bucket. Those two I have seen in action and they get it done, big time.
 

Do you have a checklist of what you really want to do outside of your performances on your forthcoming trip to Australia?
Past deadlines to be met, good workouts, and restorative sleep. I am pretty much just about the shows. I find that being mission-specific really helps the show.
 

You come across as an all-round workaholic, constantly on the road performing, writing books, acting in film, presenting on radio and television, and making music. What’s left for Henry Rollins to do?
I reckon it’s for me just to stay with it. That’s it. I don’t know of other things I want to do. I really like being onstage with the audience. I feel a great duty to them. I feel very lucky to have that outlet. Past that, I can’t think of anything on the list that needs checking off.

Henry Rollins plays the following dates in Australia:

Wednesday 18, The National Theatre, Melbourne (Sold Out)

Thursday 19 April, The National Theatre, Melbourne (Sold Out)

Friday 20 April, The National Theatre (www.ticketek.com.au or phone 02 9525 4611)

Saturday 21 April, The National Theatre (www.ticketek.com.au or phone 02 9525 4611)

Sunday 22 April, Her Majesties Theatre, Adelaide (www.bass.net.au or phone 131 246)

Tuesday 24 April, Panthers, Newcastle (www.moshtix.com.au or phone 02 4926 6200) 



Wednesday 25 April, Seymour Centre, Sydney (Sold Out)

Thursday 26 April, Seymour Centre, Sydney (Sold Out)

Friday 27 April Seymour Centre (www.ticketek.com.au or phone 132 849)

Sunday 29 April 29, Darwin Entertainment Centre www.darwinentertainment.com.au or phone 08 8980 3333)

Tuesday 1 May, Tanks, Cairns (www.ticketlink.com.au or phone 1300 855 83)

Wednesday 2 May, Powerhouse, Brisbane (www.brisbanepowerhouse.org or phone 07 3358 8600

Thursday 3 May, Powerhouse, Brisbane (www.brisbanepowerhouse.org or phone 07 3358 8600)

Friday 4 May, Powerhouse, Brisbane (www.brisbanepowerhouse.org or phone 07 3358 8600)

Saturday 5 May, Theatre Royal, Hobart (www.theatreroyal.com.au or phone 6233 2299)

Sunday 6 May, The Street Theatre, Canberra (Sold Out)

Tuesday 8 May, IPAC, Wollongong (www.ipac.org.au or phone 02 4224 5999)

Thursday 10 May, Margaret River Cultural Centre, WA (www.artsmargaretriver.com or phone 08 9758 7316)

Friday 11 May, Astor Theatre, Perth (www.perthcomedyfest.com.au or phone 08 9484 1133)

Saturday 12 May, Astor Theatre, Perth (www.perthcomedyfest.com.au or phone 08 9484 1133)

For more information visit www.henryrollins.com.

Quality is a word that gets bandied about a lot in the cooking world. There’s quality produce, quality cooking, and the all-important quality control. Celebrity chef Matt Moran is no stranger to these terms. As the star of numerous TV programs and even more restaurants, including his current habourside residency at Aria, he’s built a career delivering high quality food and service. In fact he’s been appointed the ambassador for T-QUAL, the official government’s recognition of excellence in restaurants, hotels and other tourist ventures. So far 3,000 operators have earned the tick with four times as many who have the potential to be recognised. Patrick Lewis speaks to the man in his own private dining room and finds out why there’s so much hype around celebrity chefs; what he finds most annoying about being on television; and where Matt prefers to eat when he’s not in the kitchen…

Society has become obsessed with cooking programs. Why are we so fascinated with the ‘celebrity chef’?

I don’t think [viewers] are fascinated with the chefs I think they’re more fascinated with the food. I suppose the chefs are the by-product of it and they’re the ones delivering it. Our food culture has expanded. People are more interested in food and the quality of food. Look at what people eat now. Look at what ten-year-old kids are eating now compared with twenty years ago. People are getting knowledge through chefs and it’s about bloody time – as Lara Bingle would say.

Who’s your favourite celebrity chef?

I don’t have one. I don’t have time to watch TV.

Then who’s your favourite chef?

It depends. There are a lot of people I hold in high esteem. Justin North from Becasse. Peter Doyle at Quay is a great cook. Sean Moran at Bondi. Neil Perry is a great ambassador for Australia. What he has done for the industry is a great thing.

Your three favourite restaurants?

I had a great meal at Jacques Reymond in Melbourne. I hadn’t been there in 12 years and it was absolutely amazing. Another place in Melbourne, called Golden Fields, really blew me away. I have breakfast at the Three Blue Ducks in Bronte, Sydney. Great coffee, great breakfasts, and great atmosphere.  

Your favourite food?

I’m a seasonal chef. When mangoes first come out, it’s amazing. There’s nothing better than lamb in spring. Then there’s always the four kings of food: fois gras, truffles, caviar, and Iberian ham [yes, I’m Googling that last one now – Editor]. There, the last meal for me.

Has being on TV changed you or the way people perceive you?

TV is something I got into about seven or eight years ago. I’ve been on My Restaurant Rules, Chopping Block and MasterChef. I think the boys copped it big time on Masterchef because all of a sudden they’re famous overnight. I think for many years people will say “I know you from somewhere” to them. You choose your own destination. If you want to be on TV, you’re going to get recogn­­­ised, but there are certain things that bug me a little bit.

Such as?

When you’re shopping on a Sunday morning  and people look into your trolley. People will often ask you when you’re in a butcher’s shop, and you’ve got a piece of meat: “what are you doing with it? How are you cooking it?”

Which is the price you pay for being so widely recognised. Is it now the ultimate goal of every professional chef to be on TV? Is this the highest accolade to which all chefs must now aspire?

What has happened has been great for the industry but there’s a downside to it. A lot of people want to get into it but a lot want to get into it for all the wrong reasons. They just want to be on TV. You can’t lean food overnight. You look at Manu or George Calombaris and we’ve all ran three-hat restaurants. I owned 13 restaurants. We didn’t get to where we were without knowledge. You don’t become a professional overnight. And I’m still learning.

You’ve become known as a no-nonsense chef but you’re more chilled than other popular kitchen personas. Is it necessary to yell and scream at kitchen staff like Gordon Ramsay?

We’ve been close friends for a long time. Gordon is a hard taskmaster. He’s mellowed now, as I have too. There are people with him who have been there since 1995. Is he tough in the kitchen? Fuck yeah. He’s the toughest. Was I, in my early days? Yes. If you’ve got your name to it, and it’s your money and name on the line… If a salad goes out and it’s not good enough, they don’t say “little George in the larder section did that”, they say “Matt Moran did my salad”. Expectation has to be met. The kitchen is a very disciplined place. If you have to say to someone “do that again” – as I have all my life – then so be it. You have to do it to get quality. 

Like the kind of quality you’re now rating for T-QUAL as their ambassador?

The T-QUAL tick is the Australian Government’s national symbol of tourism quality. Tourism businesses that carry the T-QUAL tick have undergone rigorous assessment to ensure they deliver a quality experience.

Tell us about it.

People can log in and find out about quality before they get there.  You go to France and you’ve got the Michelin Guide. People want to know what’s quality, and it’s not a simple case of just giving out a tick. There’s a lot they have to go through. I’ve been touring around the country.  People can go to my blog and see where I’m eating, where I’m staying, and see who gets the tick. It’s great for the Australian consumer to see it and recognise quality.

Read more about T-QUAL on Matt’s blog www.t-qual.tumblr.com.

Fountain Lakes’ foxiest ladies Kath & Kim will be back in a big way this year, set to appear in a full feature film called Kath & Kimderella. The film, which hits cinemas September 6, is set predominantly in Italy and – judging by its title – should see Kim scoring some hot Euro action. But how to court a foxy-moron who loves Dippity Bix with her cardonnay?

Cream digs into its interview archives and pulls out a classic conversation with Jane Turner (aka: Kath) and Gina Riley (Kim). Interviews by Antonino Tati and Josie Gagliano.

FIRST UP: KIM

Hi Kim, are you well?

Um, no I’m not actually. I’ve always got a bit of an ailment and today I think it’s a cold.

A cold or a cold sore?

A cold! I don’t do cold sores.

We know you were distraught at the thought of your marriage breakdown with husband Brett but are you happy for your mother Kath and her holy conNubials with Kel?

I find it repulsive in the extreme. I think it’s wrong for the mother to be going hammer and tong while the daughter is in drought mode. It’s vile, it’s foul, and I don’t like it.

There’s a lot of friction between you and your mother in the physical arena too, isn’t there? Where you seem to do no exercise, your mum keeps fit with her pump and pilates. Do you get jealous over how trim your mum looks, and does it really make her a crim, Kim, for Kath to want to keep trim?

I don’t understand the question because I’m a horn-bag myself. I’m looking and feeling great. I know Mum’s all huffy puffy in her exercise regime but I tell you what I do – I just lie down on the couch with my Abtronic on my tummy, watching the telly, and I find that keeps me looking as good as I do.

Have you actually considered an official health and fitness regime and doing without the Dippity Bix and Fruche?

Once again, I don’t understand the question considering I look as good as I do. The Dippity Bix are actually very nutritious; they’ve got good stuff in them: emulsifiers; acid 329…

People say you’re very much a style leader. Can you tell Cream readers where you get your fashion sense from?

I’m very much an individual, but I do make it up as I go along. I suppose if you want a fashion tip, I can tell you that this year it’s all about the G-string: worn right up over your pants. So there you go, you got it straight from the horse’s arse.

Is the trick to buy a good G in a quality silk or satin?

Oh no, no, no. It’s not about the quality of the G. It’s about the quantity. So there is some chafing. But, you know, beauty knows no pain.

Kim, could we talk a bit about your second best friend Sharon? Do you think she gets a little shitty putting up with your dramas, or does she not really notice how much you use her as a doormat?

Sharon should be grateful for any crumb of kindness I give her. I mean she has no one else. And I’m as kind as I can be to her. You know, I do bend over, well not quite backwards, but I do get up off the couch occasionally.

What is it that makes you girls get along ultimately? Is it a star-sign thing?

Well I’m not really into star-signs but I can tell you that Sharon is a Capricorn and that she does get up my goat.

A lot of celebrities today are adopting children. Would you consider, after Ebony Rae, to adopt from, perhaps Romania or Afghanistan?

Well I don’t like dogs so I wouldn’t get an Afghan. Let me tell you, the baby thing is not really for me… I’d prefer the party life than the Angelina Jolie one.

You work in call centre. Did you do any interpersonal skills training for the job?

Well I’m naturally a people person and they actually want me to give some training. But I don’t believe in any of that Zen corporate philosophy crap. You know, that “you’re okay, I’m okay” sort of rubbish because at the end of the day, I’m okay, but I don’t think anybody else is. They can all go and get stuffed.

Speaking of not being okay with things, Kath was a little disturbed although willing to accept your apparent experimentation with homosexuality. How do you think she’d react if you actually did go gay?

Well obviously Mum’s a complete and bloody bigot. She thinks if she goes and reads all these do-it-yourself books, she can go gay herself, which I find repulsive in the extreme. But I do think she’s going to turn gay before me.

What signs do you see there?

She likes to wear stretch capris without high heels. I think that’s a sign.

And she often gets made up like a drag queen.

Yeah, but still she’s got a multitude of chins.

Would you ever consider sponsorship and product placement by big brands if ever a new series or another film of Kath & Kim crops up?

Look, I’m up for anything. I mean look at those people on Big Brother. I’m as talented as they are. And they’re endorsing things. I could do that easily.

Great, thanks for the interview, Kim.

It’s your pleasure.

Oh, one more thing, what could we do to ensure we’ll get another full series of Kath & Kim?

Oh, I think a petition, or some sort of float at Mardi Gras. Maybe sleep outside the ABC…

INTERVIEW WITH KATH

Hi Kath, how are you?

Oh, I’m alright. A bit stressed. A few issues sorting themselves out at the moment. I might get into some of those later.

Well you’re looking sensational with your trusty perm and that trim figure. Do you find it a chore to keep looking so good?

Yes, I am high maintenance because I feel you gotta be, and frankly I enjoy it. Yes, I do like my huffy puffy [exercise] three times a week, and I’m still doing my pump and pilates, which is a boon. I cleanse and tone and I don’t eat a lot. Unlike my daughter, who tends to let herself go.

We bet you’re getting quite a workout in the bedroom with Kel, too.

Yes, Kel is pushing the buttons that are making me go off, I must say. I’d been in drought mode for a while there, but Kel’s opened the floodgates for me. I can’t get enough of him and he can’t get enough of me.

Well you are one foxy lady…

That’s right, and what’s so wrong with two very attractive, middle-aged people wanting to go at it like rabbits? Kimmy’s jealous of course. She can’t bare the fact that while her marriage is on the rocks, Kel and I are getting ours off. So she’s gettin’ up my goat somethin’ shockin’.

Gettin’ up your goat? Where exactly does that phrase come from? Do you have cattle in your heritage?

No, I’m descended from a long line of birds, but Kimmy’s definitely bovine. She gets it from her father’s side.

Can we turn to fashion for a moment, Kath, because we think your wardrobe is a superb one.

Well I do like to keep my finger on the pulse of all the new tricks and trends. You’ve probably noticed I do like to accessorise. I love my Australiana. In fact, Kel and I have been on tours to loads of wineries and knick-knack shops and craft markets in country towns, and I’ve picked up some beaut items. A gumnut baby necklace. And some lovely parrot earrings. But it’s always a toss-up for me which to wear: the parrots or the gumnuts. I like to team with a theme.

Speaking of wardrobe, do you get into the kinky dress-up thing in the bedroom? And, pray tell, does Kel?

Well you’re an out-there kind of magazine so I guess your readers will relate, so I will tell you that Kel and I have gone a little Eyes Wide Shut. We do like a mask now and again.

But would you say you’re a romantic at heart?

I am a romantic. I like my frills. My first marriage was a shocker from woe to go. I was eight months pregnant with Kim, so I was like the side of a house. I wouldn’t say it was shotgun – it was actually sit-down for 40 people. But I just thought second time ’round, bugger it, you know Kel is my man. He is a prince among thieves, and as such he needs to be treated like royalty.

I’ve noticed you have some old-school Italian trends throughout the house. The Bombalina doll in the washroom, and the bombonieri (sugar-coated almonds) at your wedding…

We do like to celebrate our foreign friends’ gifts. And I’m a very picky person. I pick bits from all manner of nooks and crannies of different countries and cultures. At the moment I’m liking your anchovette pastes. They’re a bit continental, aren’t they?

Indeed, you’re a talent in the kitchen, too.

Yes, I do like my cookbooks and my cooking shows. The secret to a good fritter is in the chopping of the pineapple: getting all the skin off and chopping it into a perfect hexagonal.

You could always just use pineapples from a tin and save yourself the trouble…

You could, but you wouldn’t get the hexagonal, you see.

So you’re a bit of a gourmet foodie?

Oh yes. I make a lovely Crown of Frankfurts. What it is, you see, is I get some string and I use it to tie several Footy Franks into a crown and then I stuff it with mash potato. That goes down really well. Kim’s friend Sharon loves that; though she does polish the whole thing off before we’ve even started tea.

Sharon does look like she’d eat you out of house and home.

Oh yes, she’s a very big girl. Very sporty, and so she’s got to keep her energy levels up. She does love her Footy Franks, her saveloys and her little boys.

Do you feel audiences see Kath & Kim as metonymic of the Australian family?

Well even though I am a Mensa graduate, I don’t know… Gee, you’re very well educated, you youth of today, aren’t you?

Yes, but the term was ‘metonymic’, that you’re an example, a typical part of, the Australia family archetype.

Oh yes, yes [not sounding very convinced]. Well I am a good metony-mimicker. I can do impersonations. We’re kind of like a reality show, really, and I think people have got rocks in their head if they don’t believe that what’s going on on-screen isn’t real. I just don’t think you could make that up. Anyway, I’m happy to have things like our connubials video-ed for all and sundry to see, and I’m happy to share with as many people who would want to delve into our lives with all of its nooks and crannies.

Well thank you Kath for giving us insight into a most definitely unusual world.

Yes, it is difinitely [sic] unusual.

‘Kath & Kimderella’ is scheduled for cinematic release September 9.

Mark Ronson is one major go-to producer. After the release of two solo LPs, an album with Amy Winehouse, and the soundtrack for an ad campaign for Toohey’s beer, the man behind the music is back with his greatest challenge yet: creating the theme for London’s 2012 Olympic Games which will be used across Coca Cola advertisements sponsoring the event.

The song features samples of sounds of athletes performing the world over: from the slap of a gymnast landing on a mat to the popping of ping pong balls. The soundbytes have been layered over the commercial track and most of the recording was original. Ronson himself strapped microphones to athletes’ body parts, taking these bytes back to the studio and feeding them through synthesizers and such.

He’s also kept busy this past year touring with his band The Business International and working on the new album for Eighties stalwarts Duran Duran.

Antonino Tati speaks with Ronson about working with music veterans like Amy Winehouse while having a knack of spotting new talent, recording in the studio versus playing live, and lending his production skills to the ad world.

Does it matter where you are when you’re producing records and soundtracks?

Usually I like to be in my studio in New York; it’s quite comfortable there.

Since having had huge success with Amy Winehouse’s album all those years ago, has there been pressure to live up to it?

That record seemed to capture a moment really well. With Amy, we really had a bond over music so we just said, ‘Let’s make it sound like stuff that we like’… But all I can keep on doing is make music that I like, and hopefully someone else will share the same opinion.

You have a knack of picking up and exposing hot new talent and marrying this with quality veteran artists on your albums… 

Maybe I just have a certain taste, or maybe that’s a terrible insult; that my taste is so regular, so the common denominator, that I like the same things that other people like… Oh well, on my last record [Record Collection] it was really important not to go with the people banging down my door, like Robbie Williams and Amy Winehouse, when she was with us. Instead I opened the door for the next round of artists. I really enjoy working with young talent. There’s just an excitement and energy that comes with recording when someone is doing it for the first time.

But you did work with Duran Duran on their latest album…

I did. And I think it sounds like Duran Duran in a good way. It’s not like we’re rehashing anything. I love Duran Duran…

Do you meet these musicians at parties and liaise with them directly, or is it all done officially through record companies?

It’s never really about the record companies; it’s always through a friend. Lily [Allen], for example, I met one night when I was DJ’ing at a hip-hop club in London and she was there at the end of the night and we just started talking. Amy, we met through a friend of a friend back when.

Do you think that’s what keeps the music sounding so organic on your records?

I’m not sure if it contributes directly but it’s all part and parcel in a way. The same way I meet people organically, we also play organically live. Everybody I work with enjoys music naturally and making music for music’s sake. When I think about people who’ve been hooked up through record companies, they’re usually young pop stars who come into the studio and [the situation] is just blank. I’m not good at that; I don’t work well in that environment and that’s not how I like to create. The people I have worked with from their early days – like Daniel Merriweather or Amy Winehouse – they had a really strong vision of their own when they wrote, so all I had to do was be a great producer.

Santigold seems like another artist you’ve worked with sans major record company interruption.

True. I met Santi before she blew up big. I used to drop my dogs off at her apartment in Brooklyn on the way to the airport and she’d walk my dogs for a week.

What you just said actually sounds like a snippet from a Santigold record. So that is you having a conversation with her on the Diplo remix album?

Yep. John Taylor from Duran Duran actually asked ‘Are you offended?’ and I was like, ‘That’s my voice, moron’.

I find it quite ironic that John doesn’t drink anymore, yet the pair of you were pushing a beer campaign with a Toohey’s ad you created some time ago.

Basically the contact was to create a band and take them to New York and write. So one day I recorded with John, one day it was Santi and so on, and the best song, the one that we thought was the most appropriate and most awesome and exciting, was the one with John in it. He really loved it, he contributed the change and the bassline and three days later we recorded it.

The song also featured Sean Lennon. Who on earth was footing the bill there?

Tooheys, I think. But really everyone was doing it for the love of beer. Except for John, perhaps.

Do you find a common link to the artists you work with, or is it the diversity that makes an interesting project, be it an album or an ad soundtrack?

I think it’s the diversity. The thing I love most about treating first recordings as demos with artists is that you get the most out of each session.

When you’re touring, are you twiddling knobs on electronic gadgets or playing real instruments onstage?

The guitar is pretty much the only thing I would stand on stage and play in public.

Any last word on the Coca Cola ad campaign for the 2012 Olympics?

I’ve said it before but to me sport is music in the way that it has so many natural rhythms and when I was recording the athletes I wasn’t thinking of them as  performing a sport, I was thinking of them as people in an orchestra. I like the results.

Photography by Bryony Shearmur.

View the Coca Cola advert with music produced by Mark Ronson here.

Produced on the back of playing to sell-out festivals all over the world Velociraptor! is Kasabian’s fourth studio album. Beginning with a gong then launching into new territory on the Kasabian soundscape, it could be their best work yet. Already described by critics as “a cross between Smells Like Teen Spirit, the Prodigy and Tron” it covers their trademark sound of distorted guitars and wild west trumpets with dark, new techno influences. Patrick Lewis asks lead guitarist and some-time singer Sergio Pizzorno what inspired the eclectic new sound of Kasabian, catches a Spinal Tap reference, and learns why Crack Foxes are so important…

You had a great reception at last year’s Big Day Out festival. What was it like touring Australia?

Melbourne was incredible and Perth was amazing. Australia is just such a great place. Nothing is a hassle. You’ve got cities where everything just comes together. Everything works and at night everyone goes wild.

You’d been touring with Muse, Oasis and U2, playing big shows before you made your new record ‘Veloceraptor!’ Would you call it your ‘stadium rock’ album?

If it is then that would be up there as an incredible achievement. It would prove you don’t have to write shit music to become massive. You’ve got U2 and Coldplay, but apart from them the world is missing a big fucking rock band and if we can be that, it would be amazing.  

What did you learn touring with Muse and U2?

When you play those big places you have to put on a show. If you don’t, it doesn’t work but if you do and it’s not good, it’s horrendous. Stadiums are boring if there’s not a show but there’s got to be a balance. You don’t want to get the little Stonehenge out with dancing midgets. Muse and U2 were really cool guys. Matt Bellamy [Muse lead singer] is a funny character. He told me that when he was younger, growing up in Devon, he came up with a way to cheat the fruit machines at fairgrounds so he’d always win. I dig anyone who has got that about them. He wouldn’t tell me how he did it because he thinks some people still want to collar him.

On your last album, you cast Noel Fielding in your video clip for ‘Vlad The Impaler’. I know you’re all big fans of the ‘Mighty Boosh’, but what’s your favourite episode?

Who else could have done Vlad The Impaler? There’s no other person in the world like Noel Fielding. He’s an absolute genius: the kind of person who could walk into a room and people say, “Who the fuckin’ hell is that?” He’s like Mick Jagger. He’s a maverick and we should look after these people because there’s not many of them left. I’m am absolutely massive Boosh fan. I love ‘The Nightmare Of Milky Joe’, especially when the madness sets in from the coconuts, and ‘Killeroo’ from the first series when Noel fights the Kangaroo.

What about the Crack Fox from Series 3? When Cream interviewed Noel Fielding he told us that was his favorite episode. If you had to put him in one of your video clips what would he be best suited to?

I buzz off the Crack Fox. It’s genius how they get away with the voices. The Crack Fox would have to be in a clip for ‘Empire’ [the title track from Kasabian’s second album]. There’s like a renaissance vibe going on. The Crack Fox would do well in battles. You could put him on the front line and people would say “No way, we’re not fighting ’em.”

What music are you listening to now?

Beadyeye: the Oasis splinter group; they’re fantastic. Liam Gallagher will always be my hero. It was nice to grow up with a real official rock star you could believe in. He called our last album ‘majestic’ which is a really nice word. I listen to Miles Kane and I really like The Penguins and Perth band Tame Impala. I met them in Australia; in fact it was Noel Fielding who turned me onto them. They’re really nice, beautiful hippies. They’re incredible musicians.

Musically, ‘Velociraptor!’ is definitely a step in the different direction. How would you describe it and where did the title come from?

It’s nice to keep everyone on their toes. This album feels like the greatest of all. We’ve taken the best of all three previous LPs and taken the sound into the future. It’s epic; ambitious. It takes you on real journey. It’s gunslinger rock. We always thought ‘Velociraptor’ would be a great name for a band. It’s just a great sounding name. It sounds modern. Velociraptors hunt in packs of four [Kasabian are a band of four]. They were the only dinosaur that could defeat the T-Rex.

Favourite song on the album and Why?

‘Man Of Simple Pleasures’. It’s a country song but it’s ultra modern. I like the message. Technology is taking over in a lot of ways. It’s about turning those systems off. Climb the trees, talk to your friends, do those things.

Kasabian are headlining the Big Day Out along with Kanye West. The band also play at the Hordern Pavilion in Sydney on Tuesday 24 January. Tickets available  through www.premier.ticketek.com.au and at the Festival Hall in Melbourne on Saturday 28 January. Tickets available through Ticketmaster.

‘Velociraptor!’ is out now through Sony Music.

Director Stephan Elliot chats to Cream about coaxing Olivia Newton John to ‘do coke’, why the wedding genre in film is so massively popular, and his continued success with a story about a busload of drag queens. Interview by Antonino Tati. 

A Few Best Men. It’s a clever title for your new film.

When we got to talking about the title, I said, “Do you know how many people are going to think they’re going to see a Tom Cruise movie?” At the last moment I was really pushing for a title change. But ultimately, I think it works.

It’s kind of a blessing for you, really. As though a little PR for it has already been paved.

But a lot of people are going online and searching ‘Good’ instead of ‘Best’.

The wedding genre is quite popular in cinema. You did realise that when going into this project?

The wedding genre has always been offered to me. Post-Priscilla [The Adventures Of Priscilla, Queen Of The Desert] they took me to Hollywood and didn’t know what to do with me after a busload of drag queens. So the only genre they could find for me was the wedding genre. Every wedding film that’s been made in the past 20 years, trust me, I’ve been offered it. What they didn’t know was that I suffer from Wedding Syndrome, having been a videographer for weddings since I was 14 years old. I was doing two or three weddings every weekend most of my life.

I can certainly relate to that, having DJ-ed at weddings in the past. It’s kind of a silent torture you’ve got to go through; while the guests are enjoying themselves, you’ve seen and heard it all before a hundred times.

Well as a DJ so you’d understand; you’d have had to play those same tracks over and over again and it would have been hell for you. But on the videography side, in those early days, the invention of videotape really changed things. People just couldn’t believe that you could shoot for longer than four minutes. I’d actually be asked to shoot rehearsals a week before the wedding so I got to see stuff that I really shouldn’t have. Having so much access to the bridal party it got to the point where I could tell whether a marriage would work and how long it would last.

Wouldn’t the recording of rehearsals have defeated the point of capturing the perfect wedding on tape?

They were just so thrilled at the time; people would see a camera and they’d be beside themselves. I’d have the bride on the day, literally about to walk down the aisle, and she’d turn to me and ask, “Do I look fat?” and I’d say, “Well you could pull your tummy in a bit, and I wouldn’t mind going back and doing another take”. I think my record was 17 takes of a bride walking down the aisle. And nobody minded.

Would you say some of the bloopers caught on tape in those days have made their way into A Few Best Men?

Lots of them. One classic incident from the past was when the mother of the bride took control of the wedding and this poor girl, the bride, just hit breaking point. On the day before the wedding she fell to the floor and just screamed, “Mum, this is NOT your wedding!” That sentiment is very much in the film. And the mother had the final laugh on the day of the wedding. The daughter got out, dressed in this beautiful wedding dress, and the mother got out after her in the exact same dress.

That’s cruel. In your film, it looks like the mother, played by Olivia Newton John, is also having the last laugh. She’s having a better time than the daughter, anyway.

Pretty much. We decided to create the absolute mother-of-the-bride-from-hell. Or from heaven, depending on how you look at it.

I’d say Olivia was from heaven. Or indeed, Xanadu.

[Laughs].

Did you need to coax Olivia into the scenes where she’s racking up cocaine, or was she a good sport?

She needed a lot of coaxing. Everything you think Olivia is, she actually is. She is one of the most lovely, kind, caring, gentle human beings on earth. And she’s blissfully and wonderfully naïve, too. She was a big star when those Robert Stigwood films like ‘Saturday Night Fever’ were going off. That’s when cocaine really came into being. But back then she really had no idea why people were spending so much time in the bathrooms. She said it took her about a decade to work it out, and that was only because she started seeing the train-wrecks around her of people completely destroyed by coke. She said that by the time she’d worked it out she realised it was not a good thing. So when it came to her racking up for the film, she said, “This is just so not me” and I said, “Well it’s time to play a character outside of yourself”.

Do you think that character might be frowned upon by some conservatives who may go see the movie?

Very much so. This is a broad comedy. I set out to create a very big, dumb, laugh-out-loud comedy, and it is very silly and not to be taken seriously. There’ve been many films made like this; and I’m not pretending it to be anything else. There will be some people out there that will be a little disappointed over what Olivia did that but she got to say, “You know what? I got to act for once”. And she loved it.

There’s quite a bit of toilet humour in the film. Let’s just say, for those who have not seen it, and without giving too much away, it involves a sheep, some drugs and one of the character’s fists. I’m wondering if you thought about editing that back?

I think that humour is an imperative part of it. As we were saying, wedding films have been proven successes in Hollywood but I think things changed when ‘Wedding Crashers’ came along. Then I think they started making wedding movies for guys, too. They were still about love stories, so the girls went along to see them, but the boys got to enjoy seeing some terrible behaviour, too.

So you obviously want your films to appeal to both sexes?

Yes. You know I was speaking to the late Patrick Swayze when he turned up to a rehearsal one day, and he had two bodyguards with him, and I said, “Patrick, really, do you need the bodyguards today?” and he said, “You don’t understand; I can’t even walk through a shopping mall without some guy walking up and hitting me in the head from behind because his girlfriend made him watch Ghost five times. So it was a wonderful way to cross the genres over, to try and make a film that would appeal to both girls and boys. And kids and grownups. So there’s a bit of toilet humour in it; and the job was to make you feel uncomfortable. It may be a little excruciating for some people; other people think it’s hilarious.

Pardon me for bringing up another recent film in the wedding genre, but Bridesmaids got away with its bout of toilet humour because it was women delivering it for the first time, and you never actually saw the mess under all that lace… Do you think some people might wish you’d have covered it up in a similar manner?

Some people might and some people mightn’t but as far as I’m concerned the horse is out the door…

Let’s get to the actors. You’ve rounded a motley crew of them. Did you sit in on the casting sessions?

No, I picked my actors.

And they each jumped on-board readily?

Yes. The only character we didn’t have an actor secured for until the last minute was the lead, David. And Xavier Samuel was a real find. He’s the straight guy in the piece; it’s his wedding and it’s all going wrong; and that was a tough role to fill. We did see an awful lot of people and Xav had just come off Twilight. Personally I didn’t want to see him but he was absolutely adamant.

Having Kris Marshall in there was quite a coup.

Kris was in my last film Easy Virtue; he played the grumpy butler. And it was through working on Easy Virtue that we struck up a strong friendship. He’s a damn fine actor and a very, very funny man.

You had a major hit with The Adventures Of Priscilla: Queen Of The Desert. Do you realise what impact you’ve had with that film?

At the time we honestly didn’t realise it. I was a kid; I was 26 years old. I wrote the script in two weeks and honestly didn’t have any expectations, or particularly care. I just said, “You know what? It’s only costing a million dollars. Let’s have a really good time making it and the honest truth is, it will probably go straight to DVD”. I went forward with that attitude, thinking let’s just have fun. But then the complete opposite happened and we’d made one of the greatest cult films of all time. It’s very hard to live down. For years I was quite angry with it because all people kept asking me was, “Where’s the next Priscilla?” and it got to the point where I realised I’m never going to live up to it and I’ve got to stop bothering and just get on with making other movies.

I look at the film’s pop cultural and societal impact. We were brought up in a very ‘ocker’ society in Australia where if you didn’t talk about football or other butch subjects, you were left out of the conversation. And you managed to have a film that created a wave of deconstruction in gender so strong that we ended up having Footy Show hosts dressing up in drag a few months after its success…

Yeah, I remember the Wallabies all came on one year, just before an international match, and the whole lot of them were in drag. It was hysterical.

You do realise that you helped rip through the gender restrictions we used to have in Australia?

Well yeah; it was a good flip and an amazing flip. And the real fun part was that I really didn’t mean to. I still get 30 letters a week from people saying ‘thank you’; particularly parents of gay kids who say thank you for helping me understand. Now, the stage show has taken off internationally; we’ve just opened in Italy; we’re on Broadway; we’re in London. It’s turning into Mamma Mia.

When Priscilla is staged, do you get any royalties?

No. No-one pays me any royalties. A misconception about me is that I must be rolling in cash. I signed a table napkin at the start, and got a flat fee of $50,000 and that’s all I got. But there’s that great conception that I obviously must be rolling in it yet I never saw another cent. I was bitter about it at first, but you know what? I got a career out of it. But don’t ever get the idea that you get rich from filmmaking; very few people do.

Do you think critics have had too high expectations, in comedic terms at least, after the success of Priscilla; continue to use it as the litmus test?

Every single time.

Well you received a lot of negative feedback over its follow-up Welcome To Woop Woop.

I was crucified! No matter what I did afterwards I was going to get into trouble. Welcome To Woop Woop was picking up on some of the worst pieces of Australian [culture] back then: you know, bigotry, racism, I went after absolutely everything. In that instance it was quite a dangerous movie. I knew I was in trouble even with the cut-down version and when Pauline Hanson saw it and said she loved it – I said, “Oh no, this all going terribly wrong”. But let me tell you, Woop Woop was never completed. The film that I actually did make was so out there, and so anti-Priscilla that when MGM Studios bought it, they recut it into something else and didn’t really release it. So one of my plans one day is to get back in there, reconstruct it and put it back to what it would have been. And trust me, it’s a hundred times more dangerous than what’s there now.

No doubt you’re expecting a better reception for A Few Best Men…

The reviews have been pretty darn good. We’re in a recession at the moment and I’ve sat in on about five or six full-house screenings and watched people just laugh, so as far as I’m concerned: mission accomplished. We are really just making people hugely entertained for 90 minutes, and that’s all the film’s job is.

There’s quite a twist at the end, but I believe what we see is not the original ending. Can you tell us a bit about that?

We had an ending set in the tent [ie: the wedding marquee] and it just didn’t get a big enough laugh. It was interesting, sitting in on test screenings, realising you’ve got to go out with a bang. But at that point everyone had gone home or was working on other films so I had to recreate the ending using the most elaborate computer generation imagery I’ve ever done, and with no money. In the end it cost me $11. I literally shot each of the four main actors in different parts of the world and stitched them together in CGI just to give it a big bang ending. And it works; it gets a good laugh.

As a result, that post-production appears to pay homage to the glory days of Technicolor in film, would you agree?

Totally. I thought if we’re going to have this ending, let’s give that absolutely perfect, storyboard, picturesque, or what I like to call it ‘the chocolate box’ look. And then at the very last moment, just sabotage it.

On the subject of semantics; most auteurs have a signature trademark flowing through their filmography: Kurosawa with the colour red; Tarantino with his kitsch soundtracks. What would you say was the Stephan Elliot trademark?

It actually took a reviewer in Denver to point this out but he said, “All your films are about people who don’t fit in; they’re all fish-out-of-water comedies”. And he’s right. There’s a storyline through each of my films that’s pretty much about someone who doesn’t fit in. And there’s certainly a sense of mischief in all of them. Even in Easy Virtue, which is an English period piece, the sense of mischief is really naughty.

On a serious note, you had a major skiing accident a few years ago…

I had a corker, and I broke pretty much everything. It was pretty horrible. Thank God for morphine because it did help wipe out four or five very bad years. They told me I shouldn’t have lived. Then they told me I wasn’t going to walk. They had to teach me to re-walk again. What I learned after the accident was that life is very, very short and that you’ve got to get on with it. There’s too much fear in the world and my fear levels kind of disappeared. Once you’ve faced death, there’s not a lot worse in the world. The world’s a pretty fun place if you want to make it that.

Are you keeping away from adventure sports now?

Oh no, I’m right back in there again; don’t you worry.

‘A Few Best Men’ screens nationally. To view a trailer of the film, click on the image below.

I admit I’m quite the Duran Duran fan. I admit this without worrying about the status of, or lack thereof, my coolness. I still ponder the lyric “I smell like I sound” from Hungry Like The Wolf and love it even though I haven’t the faintest idea what it means. I think it’s cunning for a band of boys (well, men) to have attracted so many female fans while simultaneously praising female prowess and ripping it to shreds with a sexism that was – and still is in much of the band’s music – sexy enough to get away with. Think of the two busty babes primped and propped up as lust objects for the hetero male gaze in the Girls On Film clip along with its potentially offensive lyric “the crowd all love pulling dolly by the hair”. And if pulling dolly by the hair didn’t get feminist analysts in a state, the proclamation four years down the track that “in exploitation’s name, she must be working for the skin trade” ought to have. Or indeed a decade later’s vitriolic attack: “Lady Xanax, where were you last night? All the cracks in your makeup are starting to show” just might have.

But are Duran Duran deserved of thesis paper status? They are only an all-boy (man) pin-up band after all: one that may not be as commercially modified and MTV-ed now as it was 25 years ago but nonetheless still shoved into that box labelled ‘big pop’ which we’d never force the more ‘serious’ likes of Coldplay or U2 into.

Video clips cut with contrived smashing of vases against walls and melting of ice across stiff nipples, pretentious Polaroid collages (courtesy of Nick Rhodes), architecture and artifice, and inane lyrics about ragged tigers and a girl named Rio withstanding, Cream thinks Duran Duran warrant a statuette of respect in music’s hall of fame. Sure, Simon rarely sings with a golden set of tonsils. Fair enough, the band hasn’t maintained a regular contemporary presence in the charts. And obviously most of the original members stepped out of the limelight just as the grey fog started passing through it. But they’re back together now – well, Simon, John, Nick and Roger are – touring the world again like there’s no tomorrow, and knowing full well that fans are dying to relive those fabulous songs of yesterday. Mind you, most of the tracks on the boys’ new LP All You Need Is Now ain’t half bad, either.

Antonino Tati caught up with Simon Le Bon to discover a man who’s come somewhat closer down to Planet Earth than he appeared to be in the heady 1980s, but a diehard pop star just the same who talks of way-out lyrics, heady partying, sampling rappers, and still seeing girls walking hand in hand across the bridge at midnight…

Tell me, Simon, do the lyrics come first to you these days, or the music?

The music tends to be the first thing. I find it easier to write lyrics when I get a feeling from the music as to what theme to write about. Music is evocative; it creates a mood and it inspires the words.

The lyrics on your past couple of albums seem less obscure and ‘arty’ than on your earlier albums – where you used to sing about ‘union of the snakes’, ‘dancing on valentines’, and my favourite, ‘smelling’ like you ‘sound’. Was the fairly schizophrenic poetry back then part and parcel of the New Romantic thing?

I just felt back then that it was okay to create these kinds of impressions, and to use words at random but to create some kind of odd feeling. A lot of the time I didn’t really know what I was on about: I just liked the sounds of the words together. I mean, “I smell like I sound” felt like a really animal thing to be saying, and I often just let my instincts lead me there. These days I think the mood has generally changed. I don’t think you could get away with those kinds of lyrics, really.

That’s kind of ironic since society has gone into this state of, shall we say, split personality, what with the internet and the information overload we’re subjected to. You would think the timing was right for more of your old style of mixed-up lyricism to be appreciated; yet here you are writing songs with more narrative and sense.

Well you’ve hit on the whole on the whole idea of what the new music is about really: the mingling of art and commercialism.

Those old lyrics, coming from any other band, and listening to them in retrospect, would appear absolutely inane, but coming from Duran Duran, they seem somewhat profound and as though there was some message to have been found amid the miscellanea.

Some of those lyrics were bits coming from personal places, and some were just from my imagination. Union Of The Snake came from my reading this book about tantra and the whole idea of kundalini: the sleeping snake inside the man. Tantra’s a belief in the practice of kundalini yoga. As in tantric sex…

I must say, sex and a high level of decadence seem to be persistent themes in Duran Duran songs. Sometimes it sounds like you enjoy watching decadent sex to the point of seeing people, particularly women, faulting from it. Like the woman who asks for too much and gets it hard in the end of All She Wants Is, or the subject in Lady Xanax (from the Pop Trash album) who has stayed out all night and now has cracks in her makeup.

Well, Nick wrote the lyrics to Lady Xanax so it’s actually got a lot of him going on in it. I just kind of fine-tune the songs so that they ‘sing’ right. It’s interesting because Nick has a very different point of view to mine.

So ‘Lady Xanax’ could almost be a pseudonym itself of Mr Rhodes? Nick’s certainly brought a lot of ambiguity to the Duran table.

He has.

Back when there were five...

Do you look back over 25 years, ponder your juxtaposing relationship with Nick, and go, wow, that’s a long time for two very different pop players to be getting along?

We tend not to look back generally because it’s kind of sad to see how few of us are left now. There’s only us and Depeche Mode and U2 left from that whole time, really.

Interesting you should put U2 in that category and not acts like Pet Shop Boys or New Order, even while they’re in as different a genre to you as U2.

Well I always saw New Order as a carry-on from Joy Division, coming from an earlier, different period.

Initially, there was some industry backlash toward you, however a lot of contemporary music makers did grow up with your songs and appreciated them enough to have paid tribute to you by covering them later down the line. We’re talking Hole, Nine Inch Nails, and Smashing Pumpkins on stage. Kylie Minogue, Ben Lee, and Powderfinger on record. Surely it’s flattering to have these latter day artists giving the thumbs-up to you?

I always thought it was odd that Duran Duran were dissed so much by the serious music papers, particularly in the UK, because we were making good music, and when the people who really count, that is the record buyers, who then grow up and form bands of their own and cite us as influences, it feels right and makes sense to us that we’re not being ignored anymore. It’s in much the same way that we cited bands and artists as our influences like David Bowie, Sex Pistols, and Chic. Coincidentally, we ran into Kylie Minogue in New York recently after we were just talking about her. She did a very fine version of The Reflex with Ben Lee, didn’t she?

Indeed, although I’d like to have seen a waterfall cascade over our Kylie on video.

Wouldn’t we all have!

Your songs have gone beyond being covered by other artists, and have leaked into alternative genres: Notorious was sampled for P Diddy’s Born Again, and samples of Save A Prayer appeared throughout Shut Up And Dance’s Save It Til The Mourning After. Do you like all this cross-pollination of music that’s occurring more and more?

I’m pleased with it. One’s ultimate aim as an artist is to get into people’s consciousness by whatever means possible, and getting on the Diddy song and getting through to a whole bunch of people who may never have bought a Duran Duran album, getting it through their brains even if they don’t know it’s Duran Duran, is part of the equation for us. Music’s been getting more and more diverse over the past few years, and now it’s coming together again. When music’s very disparate and there’s different styles going on at the same time, there’s no one thing that really unites everybody, and it doesn’t seem to work so well for the general collective consciousness. But when you get something that everybody likes; that cuts through different groups of people, it focuses the culture just a little bit more at that time.

You’ve kept the release of original studio albums consistent, on average delivering a new one every two years…

I’m too lazy to actually figure out how many but [someone] said 13 the other day so I’m just repeating. There’s the first album. There’s Rio. There’s Seven And The Ragged Tiger. Notorious. Big Thing. The Wedding Album. Thank You. Meddazzaland, Pop Trash, Astronaut, Red Carpet Massacre, and the current one All You Need Is Now. That’s 12.

There are actually 13. You forgot Liberty.

It’s very easy to forget Liberty.

Forget one of your own albums? At least the creative on Liberty was lovely: lots of final genuine Eighties looks. Are you happy to see the Eighties come and go in fashion?

We’re a culture of revival anyway, but I don’t think it’s necessarily the same people who were doing it in the Eighties; kind of getting out the old gear and going, “Hey, those were the days”. This is a whole bunch of new people, who were two-years-old back then, thinking, “I want to try this too now”.

You’ve been quite fortunate having a close association to the fashion world via wife Yasmin. Do you talk business with each other; you about music; she about what’s happening on the catwalk?

No, actually.

I keep reading in the English press and online that ‘Simon and Yasmin are on the A-list again’. Do you still do a lot of the premiere and party thing?

We have a load of unopened mail. There is a fashion scene that we’re a part of, and there’s a music scene that we’re a part of, and yes we get invited to glittering openings and things like that. But we kind of ration it a little because if you go to too many of those things and you end up all over the pages of sodding Hello magazine, you feel like you don’t own yourself after a while. Also, I just don’t like to be portrayed that way all the time. I’d rather be thought of as a guy who goes up on stage, and writes and records music, than someone who goes to an endless list of parties. Don’t get me wrong. There’s a bunch of fun to be had. You’ve just got to find the right balance, because if all you want to do is go out and get trashed, it’s not a lot of fun after a while.

Did you get trashed too often in your headier days of fame?

Not really. I think we coped with the whole thing remarkably well. What we managed to keep together was our sense of humour. When you come from the background that we came from, which was working class to middle class, there’s a lot of guys around you, keeping your feet on the ground. As soon as you start losing your grip on reality, somebody somewhere starts taking the piss and it brings you back down to earth. With a bump.

One final question, Simon. Do you still see them walking hand in hand across the bridge at midnight?

You definitely do. On Putney Bridge, just close to where I live.

View the latest Duran Duran video ‘Girl Panic’ here starring an army of supermodels including Naomi Campbell, Helena Christensen, Eva Herzigova and Cindy Crawford.

Duran Duran tour Australia in March. Dates and venues as follows:

BRISBANE

Saturday 17 March 2012

Brisbane Entertainment Centre

www.ticketek.com.au 132 849

MELBOURNE

Monday 19 March 2012

Rod Laver Arena

www.ticketek.com.au 132 849

ADELAIDE

Tuesday 20 March 2012

Adelaide Entertainment Centre

www.ticketek.com.au 132 849

PERTH

Saturday 24 March 2012

Sandalford Estate, Swan Valley

www.ticketek.com.au 132 849

SYDNEY

Tuesday 27 March 2012

Sydney Entertainment Centre

www.ticketmaster.com.au 136 100

HUNTER VALLEY

Saturday 31 March 2012

Tempus Two Winery, Hunter Valley

www.ticketmaster.com.au 136 100

Go to www.duranduranmusic.com for exclusive pre-sale of tickets and VIP packages

for Duran Duran VIP members. 

When Cream featured the top albums from our first 50 issues 1997-2010 it was no surprise to find Arctic Monkeys’ ‘Whatever People Say I Am, That’s What I’m Not’ (2006) sharing space with the stellar works of Muse, Kings Of Leon, Franz Ferdinand and Snow Patrol. It wasn’t just the pulsating raw sound of killer trackers like ‘I Bet You Look Good On the Dancefloor’- the very release of the album itself was controversial: record company execs told singer Alex Turner not to release it online (he did – it became a best seller anyway). Even the cover art showing a friend of the band inhaling a cigarette was heavily criticised by the National Health Service, which inadvertently drew more publicity and, despite the controversy, boosted album sales. These days, Arctic Monkeys have four albums under their belts, and while fans and critics alike have noticed them considerably mature, the cheekiness has not been lost. Doing most of the interviews for the band and assuming the pivotal role of their new sound, accomplished drummer and back-up vocalist Matt Helders reveals why he is very much the driving force behind the outfit. Interview by Patrick Lewis

Your fast-playing, unpredictable beats and groove patterns means you’ve been widely heralded as a world-class drummer. There are parallels with Coldplay’s drummer Will Champion who sings on many of their tracks and also with Vampire Weekend’s Chris Tomson who, like you, didn’t play the drums until he joined the band. Are you a fan of their music?

None of us in the band really played instruments until we met. We all started from scratch and I think all of us add something. It wouldn’t work if one us weren’t there. I like Vampire Weekend. Coldplay? They’re good at what they do but it’s not my cup of tea. John Bonham and Mitch Mitchell were inspirational to me. My favourite drummers of all time? I saw Buddy Rich when I was young. He wasn’t just a drummer, he was an entertainer. I’m influenced by many drummers even though I don’t really sound like anything like them. I like watching Joey from Queens Of The Stone Age. He’s loads of fun to watch, and powerful and all that. As for my own songs? I like Pretty Visitors off Humbug. It’s impressive and looks good but it’s difficult to play. Brianstorming is another one.  If we haven’t played for a few weeks that one tends to be a challenge.  

It doesn’t seem like you’ll be changing drummers then, like so many other bands do.

I’m pretty confident my position is safe.

Have you seen YouTube sensation drummer Christian Allen [an American teenager who calls himself Ghost Soldier, posts clips of himself expertly playing over artists such as Arctic Monkeys]? Will you get him on stage to play drums when you tour the US like Foals did?

There are lots of covers and people drumming along to our songs. I think I have seen him. I think he’s a redhead. It’s definitely a possibility if he played with us on stage. Actually, maybe he’ll replace me!

Your third and fourth albums have taken a different direction from the first two albums. Arctic Monkeys have been accused of becoming mature but losing their angst and fire. Is that true?

We’re different ages from when we made that first album. We were 19 then; we’re 26 now. We haven’t lost the cheekiness or the humour which is still there on Suck It And See. We’ve always had integrity which is why we’ve stuck together so well and been so good at it. Although we’ve had lots of opportunities to make bad decisions; there are lots of regrets.

Such as…

titles. Album titles. I would change the name of Suck It And See to Black Treacle, one of the songs off the album. And those regrets include artwork choices.

Like the smoker on the cover of Whatever People Say I Am, That’s What I’m Not?

No, that’s one of my favourites.

Even the best musicians make mistakes. Stuart Copeland, in his book Strange Things Happen talked about the problems of drumming with The Police again after such a long hiatus but he was able to conceal his mistakes. Do you make mistakes when you’re playing with the band?

It’s easier when you’re drumming than playing guitar because you can hide it better and even people who really know your music won’t recognise it but with guitar if you hit the wrong note everyone knows it. It can really put you off when you make a mistake and sometimes you feel bad for rest of the show. I once lost a stick which was really bad but you just have to be able to laugh it off. There was a festival in Switzerland where we couldn’t get our equipment, we had to hire it and that made us all a bit temperamental.

Oasis heavily endorsed Kasabian as a band that while they were heavily influenced by Noel, Liam and Co, they still had their own distinct sound. Has there been an Arctic Monkeys inspired band you can plug?

I’ve seen Beadyeye a lot [Liam Gallagher’ splinter group] and I’ve heard Noel Gallagher’s High Flying Birds quite a bit. They’re both really good. I love Oasis. They’ll always impress me. We grew up listening to them. They can do no wrong for us. There hasn’t been a band yet to have an overall sound like us but you can hear our influence in a lot of groups around today.

What else are you listening to coming out of England today?

Two bands from Sheffield that are really good and worth keeping an eye on are the Wet Nuns and Drenge. Good bluesy rock. Miles Kane is also really good.

After playing so many stadiums and festivals around the world, what stands out as your own personal best performances?

Glastonbury in 2007. There was lots of energy and all of us were in a really good mood. Playing at the Hollywood Bowl was also incredible. It was just our attitude. We were all relaxed and there was no pressure. The one in Melbourne we did last time was an amazing show. Every time we play in Australia, the crowd, it’s always buzzing. I think we play well together because going back to that question earlier, we all learned instruments at the same time.

So aside from performing, what are you really looking forward to doing in Australia?

Surfing. I’ve never done it and I’m keen to try it. I think that’s going to be my next big thing that I’ll be into. I love the beaches in Australia. Byron Bay is my favourite.